Oatmeal in Nine Languages

Nine languages to make a bowl of oatmeal and not one in an alphabet I recognize.

I guess I don't get out much. Living in Vermont where even the need for a little Spanish is a stretch, I am amazed by the multi-lingual instructions on food items and appliances here in Armenia. It's an efficient approach for international marketers, I'll grant. But I dare anyone who can read without the benefit of corrective lenses to find a language they understand and then read the instructions on my oatmeal packet. The best I could do was to figure out not one of these nine languages used an alphabet I could recognize. But with some things instructions are not so important. I poured boiling water on the contents, added honey and walnuts, and voila! a yummy breakfast.

The hair dryer I bought when we blew out the dual voltage one came with safety warnings in 32, count 'em, 32 languages. These are the kinds of instructions no one reads--don't use the hair dryer in the bathtub, etc. We are accustomed to these disclaimers in our own very litigious society, but I am wondering if maybe those international marketers could use their money more wisely in this instance.

My Armenian cellphone came with a pile of instruction books--not that I have ever read those in any language--all in Russian or Armenian. Happily, it is a Nokia phone with a model number I could find on the Internet and download the instructions. Although I had no intention of reading them, when I needed to find out how to unsilence the phone, they came in handy.

That's Malaga Wine OPI Gel!--the most conservative choice available.

And speaking of the Internet, how about that cool consolation prize Apple just gave all of us who fell for iPhone 4s within six months of the iPhone 5 coming out? I got to upgrade my 4s this morning. This means I presumably have access to all the problematic maps the 5 users have, plus now I have a file for all my tickets and boarding passes (they really think I am going digital) and direct access to Google. Now THERE is a feature worth having. No more need to go through Safari to get to Google Translate to find out what the word for manicure is in Armenian. By the way, in case you need it, it is մանիկյուր, pronounced "manikyur." See, not so hard.